We all have friends. A friend is someone with whom we can have mutual affection. Feelings of trust and understanding, along with the obligation of loyalty towards each other are pretty much what binds two or more people in friendship. But we all have encountered time and time again the so-called, “backstabber”. It can be painful as well as confusing to be betrayed by a friend who you’ve trusted. In worse cases, you don’t even realize that you’ve been betrayed until the very last moment which can make you fall into some really nasty situations.
When I was much younger I experienced what it really meant to have a backstabbing friend. Let me come clean, I used to be the shy kid in my class, and didn’t have many friends. One of my “few friends”, was a dude who was really energetic and funny, he was supportive and motivated me to be happy with the way I was and not listen to people picking at me because of my height (I was really short in comparison to everyone else in the class), which was really common back then. So, anyways I thought of him as a good person, until I saw his real colors. There was this girl which I liked and well I tried to keep that a secret from everybody, I was shy to make a “move” and thought of her as someone who was way out of my league. One day, that dude who I thought was nice came to me and whispered in my ear – “I like a girl from this class”. and I was curious. He promised to tell me who that was if I told him who I liked. So, I did. Because I was dumb. After knowing my secret he spread the rumour all over the class. After that, he came to me another day saying that he can help me to get closer to that girl I liked. So, I agreed. He became a messenger (or so he claimed to be). What I thought was benefitting me was actually benefitting him. He made her hate me, and I don’t know how, and after about a month I realized that they were dating. I know I was relying on him which he took advantage of but well that’s my story on how I got backstabbed by a friend for the first time.
Dealing with a backstabber
Although backstabbing can be pretty difficult to bear, still sometimes you may be wrong at believing that your friend actually backstabbed you. Let me explain. Let’s assume that you heard some rumor about your friend that indicates that he/she is backstabbing you. Which can be wrong because you cannot prove that. Well before taking drastic measures, like ending the friendship or something like that, there are a few things you should do to determine and learn the truth. Did your friend really betray you?
- Have a conversation – You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. Confront your friend and ask them about the situation which led you to believe that they backstabbed you.
- Listen to their part of the story – Have a discussion and do not argue over the matter, if you argue, nothing will solve. Listen to what they have to say, and understand their position. Try to keep yourself in their shoes. Be honest about your reasons for accusing/or thinking that they have deceived or betrayed you.
- Talk to someone trustworthy – If you still have any doubts about what you should do afterward. Get an opinion from someone you trust. You can try discussing it with your parent as well if you are comfortable talking to them regarding such matters. Or you can get some professional help.
In the end, you have to decide whether you’ll stay friends and work towards repairing your friendship. Or end the friendship for good. Listen to everyone’s opinions but follow your own. You shouldn’t do exactly what others tell you to, even if that is an advice. Have your own opinion about it, take your own decisions. Even if your decision is wrong, still, you’ll learn plenty from it.
Hope you enjoyed this article and it would be great if you learned something important from it. I’d love to hear your story and the ways you dealt with it, comment below to communicate. Have a great day.
Taken from my primary site – these thoughts everyday